So Charming…and Manipulative: 5 Signs Your Partner is a Sociopath

Could you be with a sociopath?  Your partner is charming. Everyone loves him.

In fact, he presents such an appealing image to the world that you think he’s just too good to be true.

The Sociopath Lurking Behind Closed Doors…

But behind closed doors, he becomes a different person. It’s like you’re dating Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. At times, can be so attentive and loving – but in an instant, his anger erupts and spews forth a volcano of nasty accusations and degrading comments.

Sound familiar?

Your partner may be a sociopath.

While we try to think the best of our partners, sometimes we’re unable to identify that their attitude and behaviour isn’t appropriate – until it’s too late.

Sociopathic partners are so manipulative, charming and clever, that you’ll find yourself reeling in a sea of confusing emotions.  You may question your own sanity. You realize something is wrong in your relationship, but your sociopath partner will tell you that YOU are what’s wrong.

“If…you find yourself often pitying someone who consistently hurts you or other people, and who actively campaigns for your sympathy, the chances are close to 100 per cent that you are dealing with a sociopath…I am sure that if the devil existed, he would want us to feel very sorry for him.”

— Martha Stout, The Sociopath Next Door

What Are Common Traits of a Sociopath?

A sociopath is an individual who has a poor sense of right and wrong and seems unable to understand or have empathy for another person’s feelings. A sociopath has a conscience, but it’s weak and unable to stop them from engaging in immoral behaviour.

When dating a sociopath, be aware that their charm will cause you to ignore any warning bells that you may be experiencing. Their manipulation is superb; oftentimes you don’t know you’re dating a sociopath until they have you firmly ensnared in their web of deceit.

5 Tell-tale Signs of a Sociopath:

1. They have erratic mood swings.

Sociopaths have abrupt mood changes. If they feel their control is threatened, their anger can suddenly erupt.

Since they often lack empathy, your partner cannot relate to your feelings and doesn’t understand why you become upset with their volatile mood swings.

2. They can be extremely controlling.

A sociopath will dominate your life by dictating every aspect to you: who you see, when you see them, for how long, and under what circumstances. If you deviate from their prescribed outline for you, a sociopath will accuse you of cheating, having affairs, or otherwise sabotaging your relationship.

3. They are too good to be true.

Initially in a relationship, you love the lavish attention a sociopath showers on you. He’s exciting to be with, others adore him. Like a spider weaving a web, a sociopath draws you in with his charm – with a goal to have you fully caught in his controlling trap.

4. They take advantage of your good qualities.

A sociopath can target someone who is caring, expresses empathy, and who may be emotionally vulnerable. Skilled liars, sociopaths can feign their pain, as from a divorce or broken relationship. This only further cements them in with an unsuspecting partner who often “feels sorry” for them.

5. You are left to clean up the messes a sociopath creates.

Living with a sociopath is a life full of regular upheaval. Financial problems, family issues or other disputes, all caused by the lies and deceit a sociopath breeds, are typically left to you to clean up (and take the blame for).

“Sociopaths do not care about other people, and so do not miss them when they are alienated or gone, except as one might regret the absence of a useful appliance that one has somehow lost.”

– Martha Stewart

Recovering from a Relationship with a Sociopath

By validating your emotions and having secure boundaries, you can move on from a relationship with a sociopath.

I’ve been helping people recover from toxic relationships and sociopathic partners for more than a decade. I can help you develop elegant solutions to even the most complex issues, so that you can move forward with your life after enduring an unfulfilling relationship.

Imagine being able to think freely again! Envision being able to do what YOU enjoy again! It IS possible – as many of my clients can attest. You deserve a fulfilling life of YOUR own, too. 


I’m excited to offer online coaching, which allows us to meet virtually from anywhere in the world. Online counselling is a flexible option that gives you the ability to gain support privately and discretely, on your terms.

If you’d like to setup a time to chat, reach me here.

Developing elegant solutions to complex personal issues

Daniel Lichtman MA (Couns Psych)

Daniel offers single session and multi-session packages of in-person and online counseling.  Online coaching allows you to gain support privately and discretely, wherever you are in the world.

Registered Psychotherapist (PACFA Australia) and Certified Transformational Coach (Circling Institute, USA) with over 8,000 hours experience.